Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you didnt know i had herpes?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
