Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
cat food counts as protein by the way
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
