hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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