and she was petting her beer can
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We had to coat check the pizza.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Randomize
