when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
