I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
