Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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