So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
