sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
