i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
