I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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