I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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