yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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