how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
