my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So vagazzling was a success
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
