My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
so much tequila, so little girl.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
