She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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