Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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