he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
