OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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