I'm going to rape someone's good day.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
