Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i barfeds in our rink
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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