So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You took a bar mat shot.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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