I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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