I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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