dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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