Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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