i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
