I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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