I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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