i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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