I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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