you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
