thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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