He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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