He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
