i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
