the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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