You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
