I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
