I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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