tell your sister to shave her snatch
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
