So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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