She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
this boner is exhausting
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
