I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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