are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Randomize
