it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
