Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
