We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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