"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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