she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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