yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize
