Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
