Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
