please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
