i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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