My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
