Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I have post one night stand depression
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
